Halfway where? I hear you ask (in my head at least) and the truth is, I have no idea. I also have no idea if I’m actually halfway there anyway, hell I don’t even know if I’ve started the journey. The journey to where ever it is people journey to when they have never had any idea of where they want to get to.
When I was younger I knew I had to get somewhere, somewhere other than where I was. Now? Now I have moments when I feel I have no desire to go anywhere at all, sometimes not even out of bed. On those occasions I find myself asking that age-old question, What the fuck am I doing with my life? I always answer the same way, I have no fucking idea! Then I ask myself What do you want to do? to which, again, I find myself answering in the same way, I have no fucking idea!
Several years ago I figured out that the chances of me falling in love without fucking it up were slim but, like the eternal optimist, I still hold out hopes that I’ll manage it, despite my vocal protestations to myself to the contrary. I have no idea why the desire for a human connection, bond – call it what you will – is so strong. Certainly stronger than any other drug that I’ve tried, and I’ve tried a few. Read More→